HE CHEATED, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PRAYER POINT? WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TOYOSI ETIM-EFFIONG’S INTERVIEW!

Moments with Toke Makinwa

Toyosi Etim-Effiong sat down with Toke Makinwa on Moments with Toke and while the interview was supposed to be about marriage and life, it ended up being a trigger warning for Nigerian women.

No, it wasn't a scandal, it was just one of those conversations that reminded us why "God when" is sometimes followed by "God abeg". Toyosi shared her views on infidelity and let’s just say, the internet has thoughts. It just highlighted that exhausting reality where he’s the one cheating, but you’re the one with the prayer points.

Cheating as a Mistake

According to Toyosi, cheating isn’t an automatic deal-breaker, she framed it as a human weakness and a reality of temptation.

The problem? Somewhere during the explanation, cheating stopped sounding like a conscious choice and started sounding like an accident, like tripping on a rug or forgetting to buy milk and suddenly, the solution is mutual effort.

The math isn't mathing; Why is it that when a man decides to move outside, the wife has to check if she prayed enough or cooked enough? One person does the crime but somehow, two people serve the sentence.

The Prayer Group

Then there’s the matter of the prayer group for wives of entertainers to keep Jezebels away. Look, we're all for spiritual warfare, but there’s a thin line between intercession and stress. On the surface, it’s a prayer group; underneath, it feels like the constant, shaky anxiety of guarding a grown man so he doesn't get snatched.

Newsflash, if a man disappears into the arms of another woman, he wasn't stolen, he walked there with his two legs and his full chest.

Can we leave Jezebel out of this?

The Jezebel image is tired. Why is that in every cheating story, the villain is always a nameless, faceless woman, while the man is just a victim of her jazz. Can we start holding people accountable for their own choices?

If we’re being biblical, the real Jezebel actually stayed in her husband's house and helped him run his business, even though it was a bad business, but still. Stop calling the consequences of a man's actions a spirit.

The fine boy scarcity mindset

The real reason people are irritated isn't because they want Toyosi’s husband, it’s the mindset. It sounds like that old-school upbringing where women are taught to center men so much that they believe if a fine and successful man leaves, their life is over.

It’s the suffer-head theology that says you must protect the marriage at the cost of your own self-esteem. Meanwhile, some of us were raised to know that, na me fine pass, another man is not a miracle; he’s a person and that being alone will always be better than "managing" nonsense.

What this is really about?

At the end of the day, this conversation isn’t even about cheating anymore, it’s about the fact that in this part of the world, women are basically trained from birth to absorb consequences that don’t belong to them.

It’s the uneven distribution of soft life, where men get an unlimited supply of grace, while women get a never-ending list of assignments. We’ve spent so long romanticizing the wait and the struggle, that we’ve started confusing love with endurance.

At some point, the prayers have to stop and accountability has to finally look the person who actually made the decision in the face.

The Question

Let’s be real for a second, if the roles were reversed and a woman cheated, would we be hearing about understanding and effort? Would there be a prayer group for husbands to keep Goliaths away from their wives? Or would the man be at the lawyer's office before the sun goes down? The grace only seems to flow in one direction.