When “Yes” Became My Default (And My Undoing)

primaraldinternshi
Jun 14
3 min read

Updated: Jun 22

I once agreed to bake 100 cupcakes overnight, help a friend move, review someone’s resume, AND still hit a project deadline, all in the same weekend.

Plot twist? I cried over spilled batter at 2:00 a.m. Not because of the mess, but because I realized something painfully obvious: I was saying “yes” to everyone but myself.

Sound familiar?

Most of us are taught to be kind, helpful, and available. But what they forget to mention is that without boundaries, kindness becomes exhaustion, and helpfulness becomes burnout.

This post is my open letter to anyone who struggles with setting limits. Let’s talk about the power of saying no, and how doing so literally transformed my life.

Why We Struggle to Say “No”

Before we dive into the magic of boundaries, let’s get real: why is it so hard to say no?

Fear of rejection or disappointment – “What if they think I’m selfish?”
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) – “What if I miss a great opportunity?”
Habitual people-pleasing – “I want to be liked by everyone.”

But here’s the truth: Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you an honest one.

And honesty, especially with yourself, is the foundation of a truly productive and intentional life.

The Power of Saying No (And What It Changed for Me)

I Reclaimed My Time and Energy

Every “yes” is a trade-off.

When I started saying “no” to things that didn’t align with my goals or values, I discovered time I didn’t know I had. I was suddenly:

Sleeping better
Working on passion projects
Actually relaxing during weekends

Time is your most valuable currency. Spend it intentionally.

My Mental Health Improved

Saying yes when I meant no used to leave me drained and resentful. Boundaries became my emotional shield.

Now, I protect:

My weekends
My lunch breaks
My digital space (no notifications after 9 p.m.)

And guess what? I feel lighter, calmer, and more in control.

I Became More Productive (Ironically)

Less overcommitment results in more clarity.

I could finally focus on what truly matters, and my productivity skyrocketed.

Saying “no” helped me:

Prioritize high-impact tasks
Avoid unnecessary meetings
Finish personal goals faster

I Gained Respect (From Others AND Myself)

At first, people were surprised when I began turning things down politely but firmly. But over time, they respected my time more, because I did.

Remember: boundaries don’t push people away. They teach them how to treat you.

Tips to Practice the Art of Saying No

Create a Strategy

To make saying no easier, have go-to responses ready.

Practice saying:

“I’d love to help, but I can’t commit right now.”
“That’s not something I can take on at the moment.”
“Let me think about it and get back to you.” (this gives you space to decide)

Start Small

Begin with simple no’s.

Try saying no to:

A Zoom call you don't need to attend
A favor that stretches you too thin
A habit that no longer serves you

Small no’s build your confidence for bigger ones.

Respect Others' Boundaries Too

It’s not just about you saying no. Respecting other people’s “no” builds a healthy culture of mutual respect.

Journal Your Progress

Track when you said “no,” how it made you feel, and what came out of it. This builds self-trust and reinforces your growth.

The Bottom Line: Boundaries Are a Superpower

Here’s the beautiful irony: The power of saying no has helped me say yes to the life I actually want.

I now say “yes” to:

Peace
Purpose
People who energize me
Projects that excite me

And that, my friend, is a game-changer.

Ready to Take Control?

Step 1: Comment below with ONE thing you need to start saying “no” to.

Step 2: Share this post with someone who needs to protect their peace.

Final Thought: Every time you say “no” to something that drains you, you’re saying “yes” to something that fulfills you. Own your “no.” It's not rejection; it's redirection.

Written By Anita Omameh