THIRTY, UNMARRIED AND CONSTANTLY JUDGED: WHO MADE THIRTY THE MARRIAGE DEADLINE?

THIRTY YEARS, AS THE MARRIAGE DEADLINE

Chioma looked at her phone and sighed, another message from her aunt; “So… any suitors yet? 30 is coming, you’re not getting any younger, your chances of conceiving are going down, you need to marry soon, so you can have healthy children.

Thirty?? the word itself sounded like a judgement, like society had decided her life had a ticking clock and she was already late.

For the past year, Chioma felt like she was carrying a heavy weight on her shoulders every single day. She was stuck in a situation where she felt constant stress or too much eyes on her. Her friends kept moving forward, some got married, some had babies and here she was, figuring out if she could actually adult without crying every month. Somehow, none of her promotions, side hustles, or late-night accomplishments counted, because the one thing society cared about was; was she married yet?

Across town, Tunde was having his own battle. He wasn’t single because he didn’t want a relationship, he just hadn’t found the right person and he was busy trying to build a life that wasn’t collapsing, but every time he met a family friend, he got the same question, when are you settling down? you’re not getting any younger ooo. No one asked about his new business, his long hours at work. No, all that mattered was whether he had a ring ready.

It wasn’t just the people around them that made life heavy. It was inside their own heads. Chioma found herself asking questions she had never asked before; Am I too picky? Am I moving too slowly? Am I broken? Tunde, on the other hand, started wondering if he was somehow failing at manhood simply because his life didn’t fit society’s checklist.

Who made thirty years the deadline for marriage anyway? Did someone hold a meeting and vote? Did society just agree one day? I think they did and the sad part is, everyone just keeps following it like a sheep. Being single at 30 doesn’t make Chioma a failure and not being married at 29 doesn’t make Tunde a disaster.

The real achievement is the freedom to live life at your own pace, to make mistakes, to laugh, and to figure things out without a timeline.

Maybe the best things happen late, maybe thirty isn’t a deadline at all and if anyone asks, tell them you’re busy living life on our own terms.

Your life, your happiness, your love, belongs to you and sometimes, the ones who arrive last are the ones who arrive exactly when they’re supposed to.